Being a mother is one of the most beautiful things in this world but it is also the hardest. The love a mother has for her child is the purest form of love and knows no bounds. With this love comes the fierce nature to protect your babies. No matter what, a mother would do anything to keep her baby safe. If it was up to the mothers they’d wrap their babies in cotton wool and bubble wrap so no harm could ever come upon them.
From the day I found out I’m pregnant, I am the happiest woman in the whole wide world. So grateful to God for the most amazing pregnancy and labour experience. It’s mind boggling how you can love someone so much before you’ve even met them. I couldn’t wait to meet my baby girl and resorted to having red raspberry leaf tea, hot curry with pineapple, doing squats, lunges, going up and down the stairs crazy number of times and getting pregnancy massage for inducing labour from week 38. I just couldn’t wait until the due date or worse even longer to meet her! I was ecstatic when she arrived 5 days early. I was beaming with joy holding the most beautiful and precious thing I’d ever seen or will ever see. I couldn’t sleep the first couple of nights in excitement of how perfect newborn baby she was which I now regret as you need every second of sleep you can get in the first 6 weeks. Babies also get more beautiful day by day. I couldn’t have loved her more but when she’d look right into my eyes with her baby eyes filled with so much love my heart would melt and I’d tear up thinking what have I done to deserve such love. Oh and the tears! Once you’re a mum you’d cry at the drop of a hat. Honestly you would or it’s probably just me lol.
Sometimes a mum is pushed to the limits of her physical strengths. Sleepless nights, messy house, enormous piles of laundry, toddler tantrums, struggling to take out time for yourself are all part and parcel of motherhood. It’s the love for your child that keeps you going through all this. It’s not easy but you wouldn’t want to have it any other way as their gleaming eyes, ‘Love you mummy’ and a big hug makes you think it’s all worth it.
The most difficult thing is to see your baby in pain and you are unable to do anything. You can hope that nothing bad will ever happen to your child and you can do everything humanly possible to make that happen but there can be a point when you fail. When my daughter was born I asked my mum how will I look after her she’s so small. She said ‘Beta isay tou khuda nay palna hai’ (‘God will raise her’). I didn’t quite understand it. My baby was so tiny and so dependent upon me. I had to basically do everything for her. My mother’s saying kind of stuck with me although I didn’t quite grasped the meaning then.
A couple of months ago my daughter got ill. This was not a couple of days of common bug and fever but an infection that needed hospital care, scans, tests and treatment. I fainted during the scan. I just couldn’t bear to see my little one ill and having to go through pain. For a couple of hours my body just froze. I couldn’t talk or move. My hands turned inwards and jaw locked. I had be rushed in emergency and was talked through guided breathing. This was my body’s reaction to the enormous stress I was feeling. As much as I wanted to hold my daughter and take her to the next appointment and tell her she’ll be okay I couldn’t move and felt being an inconvenience to her. However, she was so brave and supportive of me although she’s not even 3. Even after getting better I had been a crying mess at my helplessness to make my daughter better. Then came in the ‘mom guilt’ which I never even knew existed. I was convinced that I have done something to cause this or I could have prevented it somehow. As it’s the mother’s nature to do everything right by her child, if something happens they always blame themselves but it’s not really their fault.
I had always prayed for my daughter every day even before she was born. I’d say a little pray whenever I’d see her smile or peacefully sleep. But I always felt most responsible for her and that I have to do everything. I took first aid training course to be ready if God forbid there’s a situation. I’d not sleep for nights searching online for the best nursery and schools for her. Always make sure to cook healthy food for her and always watch over her even if she’s happily playing independently. I also try to take care of myself so that I am well enough to look after her. Having a life insurance is also a practical thing parents can do. I know that’s what all mums do but there can come a time when you can’t do what you want to do for your baby and that breaks your heart like nothing else. As it’s said, you’re only as happy as your least happy child.
“And sorrow, like a sharp sword, will break your own heart.” Luke 2:35 (GNT)
I have come across this verse a lot of times but couldn’t relate to it. This is exactly how I felt when I was in hospital with my daughter. Children are the greatest blessing from God and they are given to us for a reason and a season. Yes we are responsible to take care of them but most importantly we can trust our Heavenly Father to watch over them. He never sleeps nor slumbers. No doubt a mother loves her child a lot but God loves them more. Even if a mother fails, God never fails.
“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I (God) would not forget you! Isaiah 49:15 (NLT)
God can strengthen us to look after our children and pull through any difficult situations. I cannot thank God enough for being with us during a very stressful time in hospital, giving us strength, so much love and prayers from friends & family and exceptional hospital care. We are all so relieved to be back home happy and healthy.
I think the most powerful thing a Mother can do for her child is to pray for them. A common saying on the back of buses and rikshaws in Pakistan is ‘Maa ki dua janat ki hawa’ (mothers prayers are winds from heavens).
Here’s my prayer:
Heavenly Father,
I thank you for this beautiful day and time you have given me to come to you and talk to you. May we rejoice and be glad in this day.1 Lord, as I draw near you now please draw near me as well. Declutter my mind so that I can focus on you. Lord, I give thanks to you and praise your name. For you are good. Your unfailing love continues forever, and your faithfulness continues to each generation2. Thank you for always being with us. Please forgive our sins and guide us to follow your path and obey your commandants. Don’t let us fall into temptation but deliver us from evil3. You are our refuge and fortress. Our God whom we trust4.
I thank you for blessing me with my precious daughter. Lord, please give me strength and good health to look after her. Guide me to teach her your ways. As we grow in love for each other may our faith and love for you grow as well. Lord, may she always know how much I love her but most importantly know that you love her and are always there for her. She is your child Heavenly Father, created in your own image5. You formed her fearfully and wonderfully in my womb and knew her name even before she drew her first breath6,7. Lord bless her and keep her; Make your face shine upon her, and be gracious to her. Lord lift up your countenance upon her, and give her peace8.
Gracious God, nothing formed against her can stand9. You are a God who heals all diseases and forgives all sins10. You neither sleep nor slumber11. Please watch over her every day and night. Protect her and keep her safe from all harm. May your angels concerning her surround her and she doesn’t strike her foot against a stone12. Keep her safe from any pestilence and plague13. Bless her with long life and show her your salvation14. Thank you God that your steadfast love is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear you, and your righteousness to children’s children15.
God thank you for loving us so much that you gave us your one and only son, Jesus, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have the gift of eternal life16. Thank you Jesus Christ for taking up all our sins, fears and diseases in your body and by your wounds and stripes we have been healed17, 18, 19. By shedding of your precious blood our sins have been forgiven20. Jesus I claim your holy blood for my family. Please cover us in your holy blood, forgive our sins and protect us against all harm of body, mind and soul. May goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our life and we dwell in the house of the Lord forever21.
Heavenly Father, all things are possible for you but yet not my will but yours be done22. I ask this in your Son our Lord Jesus Christ’s holy name23.
Amen.
References: 1. Psalm 118: 24; 2. Psalm 100:5; 3. Matthew 6:13; 4. Psalm 91:2; 5. Genesis 1:27; 6. Psalm 139:13-14; 7. Isaiah 49:1; 8. Numbers 6:24-2; 9. Isaiah 54:17; 10. Psalm 103:3; 11. Psalm 121:4; 12. Psalm 91:11-12; 13. Psalm 91:5-6; 14. Psalm 91:16; 15. Psalm 103:17; 16. John 3:16; 17. 1 Peter 2:24; 18. Matthew 8:16-17; 19. Isaiah 53:5; 20. Ephesians 1:7; 21. Psalm 23:5; 22. Mark 14:36; 23. John 15:16.
Anita's Corner 